She wasn’t just a random girl. She was sunshine. She was happy. She used to light up my life.
I didn’t notice her the first time I met her. It was our department’s fresher’s day at the university. I did a few mimicries of the teachers, recited self-composed poetry, did an audio drama, and told funny stories there. They handed me the crown of Mr. Fresher, which was given to the most entertaining fresher. I was funny back then, maybe. I know that I wasn’t this miserable, ever.
After reaching the hostel I got so many friend requests from my seniors. I was happy. I write stuff on my Facebook wall ( mostly in Bengali), and I was happy that my seniors will appreciate my writings and respect me. I got a shitload of DMs that night. Everybody was praising how funny I am with a mic.
But there was one text from a girl, “Sanjib Nandan, You looked adorable today. And you were hilarious. I am your senior “.
(Let’s just give her a name. Let’s just call her sunshine! )
She used my whole name. I kinda felt important. She kept asking, “Did you enjoy my violin performance? “
I didn’t notice if anyone was playing the violin in the programme or not. I was busy with showcasing my talent. But I told her that I loved it.
She said,” You can ask for help if you find anything difficult. “
I replied, “gladly.”
One day I asked her for notes. And she agreed. We met in an empty room in the department. We both were unable to look at each other. I couldn’t look at her eyes so I was unconsciously looking at her boobs. She touched my cheek, pinched it, and said, ” cute “. We both were trembling; maybe in excitement or awkwardness. I collected the notes. She turned her back and was going towards the direction of her class. She wore a jeans jacket and tight jeans pants. I noticed her beautiful hips swaying as she moves. I was a decent fellow. I didn’t notice girls that way before. That was probably the first time I was consciously checking out a girl. Her wavey hair, her confident happy walk, her jeans attire everything felt so perfect.
We used to chat till 3 am. I thought If I kept spending more time I would start to feel something about her. So I stopped talking. After two days, I texted ” hi “.
She flooded me with texts. Why did you not text these two days? Did I hurt you? Did you not like the notes I made?
I said, ” Did you really miss me? “
She said, ” A lot.”
We kept texting each other all the time. None was eager to say good night and sleep. We both wanted more of each other.
She was a Brahmin. One day she asked me, ” Nandan is a Brahmin surname right? “
– I jokingly said,” why? Tumi ki intercaste marriage korbe na? ( what’s the problem with an intercaste marriage?) “
– She was red. She was giggling.
– I said no I’m not a Brahmin.
She asked me to join her in a teashop at the station and meet her friends in the evening. I just went wearing red a T-shirt and three-quarter pant. But she came prepared. She was looking so stunning in the reddish town light. Oh ! I could have given anything to hold her hand at that moment. We drank tea and had some snacks. We chitchatted a little. Her hostel closes at 7 P.M. So we had to rush. We reached the main gate of the hostel. From the main gate to the hostel compound it was three minutes of walk. I was planning to leave. One of her friend Manisha di, told me, ” People accompany their important friends to the hostel compound. They don’t desert them at the main gate. “
I was shy.
I was walking with her on the asphalt poured road. The reddish city light seemed saffron form a distance. What is the colour of love?
Red or Saffron?
A gentle breeze was caressing my hair, my body, and my existence. I was getting goosebumps. She suddenly held my hand. I don’t know enough words to describe that feeling. I don’t think any combination of words can describe that either. Her hand was mildly moist and delightfully warm. Our shoulders were touching again. Sometimes our thighs were touching. I was almost drowsy in pleasure. That 3 minutes felt like a blissful eternity. And then she smiled. Oh my God, how she smiled. She smiled with her full mouth, her ivory white teeth made the world a brighter and happier place to live. There was a genuine sea of happiness in her eyes. I wanted to hold her hand forever. I did not want that goodbye.
I was overjoyed. The happiest days of my life was starting. I did not know I was going to have a three-year-long relationship with the girl I love the most. I wanted to do everything with her. Travel the world together, tell her stories, fulfill our every sexual fantasy, make her the mother of our child, marry her, grow old with her, and keep loving her forever. But when all the happiness of the world was embracing me, pain and misery were lurking in the shadows to tore me into pieces and obliterate the smile from my face.
I reached the hostel. I was trying to concentrate on the non-fiction I had to read. But I could not understand a single sentence. I left everything of myself in her palm.
She texted me – ” I’m really missing you. Can’t study. Please open WhatsApp. “
Colour came back to my face. To love and to receive it back is the most amazing feeling one can experience. ” In a minute ” I texted. And switched on my data to open WhatsApp.